This movie just jumps right into the action with minimal intro, so I’ll do the same with the write up (mostly cause breakfast is waiting for me when I’m done, then laser tag). Kristen Stewart is in deep–deep underwater. For some unknown (and mostly unimportant) reason, she works on a type of base that’s been set up on the deepest part of the ocean floor. Now the base is suddenly breaking apart, and she’s gotta find her way back to safety at the surface. And now, she can’t just take a swim.

So technically this film does take place deep underwater (oh, I get it now) but it felt like any disaster on a spaceship movie (Alien(s), Life, Sunshine, Gravity, and other single word titles). Basically it’s people wandering around an uninhabitable environment, confined to man made structures and faulty suits. The major difference being that since they were deep in the depths, you couldn’t always see clearly thru the murky water. Otherwise, if you hadn’t mentioned the water at all, I woulda guessed we were in a galaxy far away.

Does it sound like I’m not highlighting anything original? Cause there really wasn’t much to highlight. There was some suspense, but I just didn’t care. I wasn’t invested in the characters or the situation. In other words, there were no stakes for me. I’d zone out for a bit then return and yup we’re still underwater trying to get somewhere. Oh it’s been a while since someone died. Hmm, that one’s next. And yup they’re dead. Allow me to return to my Chris Evans fantasy in my head (no, he’s not in this).

For a January graveyard, if you’ve caught up on all the Oscar movies, you could do worse than this. But you could also do so much better.

Underwater – \m/ \m/ \n