Mortal Engines

This movie literally made me sick. Okay, it was more likely the seafood I had before the movie, but I’m sure the beer shake I had during didn’t help matters. Nor did watching this piece of crap.

I don’t even know how to explain what this is about. It’s a post apocalyptic waaaay future (our time is referred to as the screen age, over 1000 years in the past). Cities are these giant mobile steampunk robot things that people live on. A girl with a scar tries to kill Hugo Weaving, and he kicks her off the city along with a nice guy who happens to be in the wrong place at the wrong time. Weaving is trying to destroy the world for some reason, and they’re trying to stop him.

There’s a couple things this movie gets right. The world building is incredible. I really like the idea of the traveling cities and the visuals and effects look really really good. The mythology of it all is interesting and I’d love to learn more about “the 60 minute war” and everything that led the world to this place. Unfortunately, what happens afterwards isn’t so interesting.

It was such a slog. The plot that should have driven the film didn’t. The dialog was terrible, both in what was written and how it was said. And there were a couple of terrible jokes that did not fit the tone of the rest of the film at all.

All of the cast looked just enough like someone well known, but weren’t actually known or that good (except Weaving, but hes’ had much better to work with).

And the whole thing felt like they were trying really too dang hard to make something EPIC and it felt that much more cheap and half assed. Just don’t bother

Mortal Engines – \m/ \m/

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