Normally, I write off these kind of mainstream horror movies. Something has to make me really wanna see it. Besides it being a pretty dry weekend (really no one wants to open against the Superbowl? huh…Go Pats!), what really intrigued me was that Helen Mirren would do this movie. Why the heck is one of our most celebrated and revered actresses doing cheesy horror? What does she know about this that we don’t? I still haven’t figured it out.

Soooo yeah. Crazy haunted house with boarded up rooms, hallways that lead nowhere, weird staircases, and oh, it’s a real place. There’s a rich old lady who lives there (Mirren) who also runs a company that primarily manufactures firearms. A doctor (Jason Clarke) is sent to evaluate her mental health by members of that company that want to overthrow her. Surely a woman building a weird house and talking about ghosts isn’t in her right mind, right?

It was basically what I expected. The house concept (which is what I thought was cool) wasn’t really explored to it’s full potential. The story was kinda lazy and cliche, and just built to maximize jump scares. I’ve talked ad nauseum about how I want more than just that from horror movies. But if that’s your thing, then cool, I’ll just sit out the next one.

Winchester – \m/ \n

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