The Forest

“Oh the January horror film, staple of the season. There’s actually another one or two coming out this year. You know how it goes (or maybe you don’t and it’s just me). Those crappy horror movies that would get swallowed up in a busier season get released now because people ain’t got much other selection available. Heaven help us.

I actually was interested in the premise of this one, hence why I actually bothered making an effort to go. Though if you’re keeping score at home, you’ll notice I saw this a week after it’s release. Guess I didn’t put all that much effort in. Game of Thrones’ Natalie Dormer leads this flick where she plays a girl looking for her missing twin sister. Sister was last seen headed to a mysterious forest in Japan where people are known to go to commit suicide. Ghosts are said to haunt the area, causing people to see horrible things leading them to harm themselves. Fun!

I think my biggest problem with most horror movies is that their characters are so dumb sometimes. How many times have you watched a movie and yelled at the screen telling your pretty but dim ingenue not to run up the stairs/go in the basement/open the closet/etc? You see my point? Okay so why would you insist on going into an unknown location by yourself, where you can’t rely on technology for help, and not even bring any gear with you? Okay, so she wasn’t alone when she started, having been able to acquire a guide and a companion, but homegirl didn’t even have any food in her pack. I’m sorry, but you just deserve whatever happens to you in this place.

There were parts of it I could get behind, mostly the mystery. Why did sister go into the forest? What’s the connection to travel companion, and can we trust him? What really happened to their parents when they were children? Unfortunately, there wasn’t any real satisfaction for most of them. The answer was usually just “”the forest is spooky””. I can’t help but feel cheated that the little bit that the movie offers to keep me holding on is never resolved. Not cool.

I was mostly more interested in seeing the story unfolding in the seats in front of me. When I walked in to the theater, a guy was leading his (presumably) daughter who may have been around 6 out of the auditorium. Umm, you sure you mean to bring her to see this? They came back and sat in the front row. There were one or two trips for concessions and such during the trailers. There were some trailers for some other horror films. I look over, and daughter is cowering in Daddy’s lap. Yeah this won’t end well, I thought. But except for a couple more trips in and out, she mostly did make it thru all of it. Parenting win or fail? Yet another mystery of The Forest that won’t ever be solved.

The Forest – \m/ \m/”

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