“I usually manage to see at least one movie while I’m on my annual LA vacay, but this year the prospects looked dim. Pan was originally at the top of the priority list, but given its negative reception, I didn’t really wanna subject my friends to it. I often end up with an afternoon or two to myself, so I thought I’d bank on that. However, my some miracle, LA friend was able to swing some time off. And by some other miracle, he suggested we see Pan. Partly because we’d have some time to kill, partly because there was some curiosity there, but mostly because he knows that movies are my favorite thing, even if they’re bad.

I wouldn’t say Pan was bad, per say. The word I would use is dull. Which you would not expect from such a big epic looking fantasy. It looked pretty, that’s for sure, but not a whole lot was happening. It took a good twenty minutes or so for me to even engage with it. And things played out so slowly, it was hard to maintain interest.

Okay, one element I will say was flat out bad. For some unknown reason, they decided to pull a Moulin Rouge and incorporate 2 modern songs into their setting. Two songs that I love, one of which I consider to be the most sacred song of my generation, and both of them mercilessly butchered without serving any purpose. Not even the mochi ice cream I was eating could console me.

Also, why is it that the few times we’ve gotten to see Hugh Jackman break bad, it’s been in a bad (okay I’m going there) film? He seemed a bit over the top, but I don’t fault him for it. I think he was trying to match a certain level of fantasy and absurdity that just wasn’t there with the rest of the film. So it came off as too much. I love director Joe Wright’s sense of style, but this film relied on it too much.

Just overall it was very unsatisfying. We didn’t get all of the answers or story I expected us to, possibly because they were banking on a sequel that will likely (hopefully) never happen. At least all I had to do to fall asleep on my red eye flight that night was to just replay the movie in my head. Didn’t wake til I touched back down in Boston.

Pan – \m/ \n”

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