I, Frankenstein

“The best thing about I Frankenstein is that I found ten dollars on the floor on my way in. So it’s like I was paid to see it. I don’t think anyone else who goes will be so lucky.

I kinda didn’t really wanna see this, cause I knew what I’d be getting myself into. Which means that I then felt the need to prove that to myself by sitting thru those 90 minutes. You never know. It could be silly fun culty bad. it wasn’t.

I think I was giggling inappropriately to myself for the first fifteen minutes or so. Aaron Eckhart’s over the top I’m-an-emotionally-tortured-monster voice in the narration. How seriously the gargoyles took themselves. The way that every set piece in the “”real world”” looked dilapidated in a feeble attempt for gothic. Yvone Strahovski as the Christmas Jones of the supernatural world. The. Bad. Science. But then, it got old. Quick.

Cliche after cliche that went nowhere. Plots and characters no one could take seriously, let alone care about. At 90 minutes it just seemed to drag on and on with nary a redeeming quality to be found. Okay, one almost redeeming quality. I did like the sorta fire and icy effects when a demon or gargoyle was killed. I’m sorry, I mean descended (to hell) or ascended (to heaven). Yeah that statement sorta just killed it, huh?

I almost wanted to rate this slightly higher for the sheer (unintended) hilarity of it. But then I realized that I didn’t want that to be mistaken for a recommendation. Sorry, Aaron Eckhart, I adore you, but please find better material next time.

I, Frankenstein – \m/

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