Stand Up Guys

“The trailer for Stand Up Guys didn’t particularly grab me. The premise is a really interesting thought (more in a second) but nothing really said “”watch me””. However, I absolutely could not say no to the cast: Christopher Walken and Al Pacino. I later noticed Alan Arkin and that pretty much sealed it. If only any of those guys would have seemed like they actually wanted to be there.

The story should have got the gears turning in deep philosophical thought. Al Pacino is released after 28 years in prison and his best friend, Christopher Walken tries to show him a good time on his homecoming. However, Walken has been tasked with killing said best friend by the next day. Not only that, but he’s known that was to be his job since Pacino went to prison. Whoa. So why was it awful?

As it started, it was just so painful. The interaction was awkward. The actors creeped me out. Their delivery of the crap dialog was totally flat. I just wanted out. Things picked up a bit once they acquired their partner in crime, Alan Arkin. But he too was just phoning it in. Maybe he was trying to play up the “”old”” factor, but really I think they were all being held at gunpoint to shoot these scenes. No, if that were the case, you’d actually feel like they thought there was something at stake.

There was also way too much time and effort spent on Al Pacino’s um “”nether regions””. That was just unnecessary. He was already creeping me out before we crossed that line. Oh and the awkwardness wasn’t limited to our leads. Lucy Punch, as the madame of a certain house of ill repute that got visited three times (3!) during the 24 hours of the film, was just awkward. Past Dinner For Schmucks awkward, because at least that was an attempt at humor.

Oh and why did nobody find it weird that they visited the same diner about 3 times between midnight and 6 AM? Seriously, was the writer even trying? Okay there were a few moments of clever dialog, but not nearly enough to justify sitting through all of it. I do feel kinda bad about ripping this movie apart so much, but I’m kinda feeling embarassed for these guys. I’d rather spare you from having to see them in such a state

Stand Up Guys – \m/

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