“There’s a certain subset of action movies that should have the tagline “”Die Hard on a “”. You’ve got some type of unlikely hero crawling around behind the scenes to subvert a big baddie and rescue a hostage. Some of these follow the pattern down to every last detail. Masterminds: Die Hard in a high school. Air Force One: Die Hard on a plane. Speed: Die Hard on a Bus. Speed 2: Die Hard on a boat. Well, now i give you Lockout: Die Hard on a space station. As overdone as this style may be, you know what? I \m/ live for this shit!!

Yes, this movie was as ridiculous and over the top as you could possible get. I mean, like whoa. But it’s also entertaining as all hell. It’s like Lockout knew its exact place in the movie-sphere, made no apologies, and just went balls to the wall. The set up was minimal. The premise laughable. Yet it worked.

Okay so you’ve got this space station that’s a maximum security prison. The president’s daughter, played by Maggie Grace, is up there on some sorta humanitarian mission to find out whether or not the prisoners are being mistreated. The prisoners are kept in stasis (essentially cryogenically frozen), and of course she picks the craziest of them all to interview. In all of about a minute he breaks free and wakes up all the inmates. Umm, ‘kay. Just go with it. Enter your John McLain type, played by Guy Pearce. He’s a sarcastic bad ass mother \m/ who just happens to be on his way to incarceration for some flimsily established crime he didn’t commit. But he’s got “”friends”” at the CIA who offer him his freedom if he can bring the girl back safely. You still with me? Pretty ridiculous, yeah? So why exactly did I love it?

The movie was pure adrenaline with a comedic kick. Everyone of Pearce’s one liners were delivered with such attitude. The ridiculous factor was embraced by every aspect of the film. The action was big and non stop. Grace’s damsel in distress had just enough of a tough side. The bad guys were unpredictable. I was along for the entire ride.

Yes, there were flaws. Many. Liberal use of deus ex machina. Details glossed over with throw away one sentance explanations (example: just when you’re wondering why the lead baddie hasnt killed the batshit baddie, he says they’re brothers). The prisoners rights issues that got our damsel on board to begin with was also dealt with in about ten seconds. Blatant disregard for physics. These things just don’t matter when you’re enjoying yourself. Would I really have preferred things to be more fleshed out if it added an extra hour to the movie? \m/ no!

I’ll leave you with one final thought that was bothering me thru the whole thing. How come any time someone in a movie has something important that gets passed around (money, intel, Marcellus Wallace’s soul) it’s always in a big silver suitcase? Have you ever actually seen one of these suitcases in the wild? Neither have I.

Lockout – \m/ \m/ \m/ \m/

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