Writing this post scared me so much, I’ve put it off for a week. The problem is I was not in a good headspace when I saw it, and some of the plot points triggered some really anxiety introducing memories, and it put me in a weird mood for the rest of the weekend. Just saying the name of the film brought all of it back.
It all started the day before at work. Some stuff got my anxiety and stress levels really high, and I had a very hard time shaking it. Then I caffeinated myself to get thru The Great Escape, which left me with a headache and generally feeling icky. But the big stresser was that day I was at Universal Studios, trying to get one last ride in on everything before my pass expired in two days. Except everything had super long lines. EVERYTHING. So I got there and went straight for lunch, choosing one of the few healthy things in the entire park (the vegetable plate in Harry Potter world). It was disgusting. Afterwards, I was able to breeze thru the studio tour line thanks to a secret single rider queue, but I didn’t get anything new out of the ride. Lots of places were closed and only a couple new facts I hadn’t heard before. Kung Fu Panda didn’t have too long a line, so I did that and decided that I’d otherwise try to wait out the lines at the movie. Surely they’d be better in the evening, yeah?
Set in the 80’s an immigrant boy living in London dreams of being a writer, but his overbearing father demands a better career path. Feeling like an outsider in his home and his school, he’s introduced to a new friend: the music of Bruce Springsteen. The Boss is singing his life like no one else he’s ever known. It sparks his passion life and poetry and everything beautiful he can get his hands on. It’s supposed to be a feel good film, so why wasn’t it for me?
I’m not particularly a fan of Bruce Springsteen. That wasn’t the issue. The thing is, I know exactly how that outcast boy has felt, and I especially know what it’s like to hear a band for the first time and hear your life sung back to you. I’ve worn my headphones like armor and I’ve gotten all my strength to survive the day from music. For me, it was pop punk. Blink 182 was my gateway drug. I connected with their lyrics and felt inspired by their attitudes. That led me to New Found Glory, Good Charlotte, Green Day and others. I would listen to Good Charlotte’s self titled album in its entirety in the parking lot every morning before walking in to face my bullies. This movie took me right back there.
That’s not really a place I want to be. I think it was especially strong since only a couple weeks before I’d seen Blink 182 play thru Enema of the State in its entirety at the Forum, the album that saved my life. So watching the film, I was a mess of emotion and anxiety and then story points like the overbearing dad just hit me even harder. I did not leave there feeling good. Oh and then I got super hungry halfway thru the movie because of course the crappy veggie plate that I only ate half of didn’t fill me.
So maybe I’m not the one to properly review this film. I didn’t enjoy my time there, but that doesn’t mean it wasn’t a good film. I just should have either skipped it or been in a better space when I went.
Oh and then I tried going back into the park. Lines were not shorter, and most of the single rider queues were closed. I just went home. I prolly shoulda stayed there all day
Blinded By the Light – \m/ \m/ \m/